"My most pervasive memory of young childhood, is of being in 'a mood', which really consisted of just the one mood in several shades of monochrome: a spectrum that ranged from a comforting solitary dreaminess inside a softly enclosing gentle shadow at one end to, at the far side of the continuum, the grimmest darkness in a hard-frozen, fractured icescape. Always it was me on the inside, them out there, beyond my enclosure, unable to reach in. And me, sometimes not wanting, sometimes not able, to reach out."
How do I explain an existence dominated by the bleakest, darkest moods? And do I even want to?
Written by Jenni Diski, read by Pip Mayo, produced by Barry J Gibb
For more stories and to read the text original, visit mosaicscience.com
Subscribe to our podcast:
If you liked this story, we recommend Mosaicscience – The-male-suicides-how-social-perfectionism-kills by Will Storr, also available as a podcast.